UPDATE: Because of other sports news and the great outpouring of entries, we are going to publish the column based on this post and the reader responses in our biggest newspaper -- Sunday's -- and will put it online then too. Thanks for so many fine responses -- you guys are a lot funnier than I am and have made my first "crowdsourced" column a lot of fun to do... Scott. It is still fine to submit entries for your own amusement and those of others, but the contest deadline has passed to be under consideration for publication.
I wish I could dash off one-liners. I admire comedians or writers who only need a single line to make someone laugh. I can't do it well at all.
So I'm asking for your help. For an upcoming column I'm tentatively titling "The Curse of 7-9," I'm exploring the Panthers' history with that very common record.
The Panthers have now finished with a 7-9 record seven times in their short history, a record more than twice as common for Carolina as any other outcome. All four Panther head coaches went 7-9 at least once, and of course it was Carolina's record in 2012.
What does that have to do with you? I'm looking for your best one-liner, since I'm sure it will be better than mine. Winners' entries will be published in my upcoming column -- either anonymously or with their names attached, their choice -- and will also receive a Panther-themed book. All you have to do is finish this sentence (and please make this your original work, I don't want any plagiarized one-liners from Jerry Seinfeld):
Every time the Panthers go 7-9, it feels like ________________________________.
Major points will be given for originality and humor. Don't make this a treatise, please. I am looking for you to finish that one sentence with however many words you want. That's all.
Send your one-liners (please limit yourself to no more than two tries per person) either as a comment on this blog below or in an email to firstname.lastname@example.org. You can comment anonymously and still enter. I will notify winners through another blog entry and via email and with my Twitter account (@Scott_Fowler). Deadline is 4 p.m. on Wednesday, Jan.9th.
4 months ago